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A fickle heart and a finite mind. These are two possessions I’m sure I’ll never be rid of this side of heaven. This seems a pretty good time to be reminded that I serve a mighty God who has entrusted me with hard things, things that grieve my heart, things that make me angry and fearful. All so he can be glorified when I turn to Him in my need out of the deep distress of my soul. [You think I’m melodramatic? Go read the Psalms.]

 

My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me.

2 Corinthians 12:9 

There are times in life that we have to jump in feet first without any clue what the future holds. If you don’t then you’re left clinging to the carcass of a life that just isn’t working anymore. I’ll let you in on a little secret- the unknown scares the living daylights out of me. I’d rather cling to my security blanket than embrace change. But I want to live a life of vitality! Even if doing so requires hard choices. Sacrifices. Courage. Financial hardship. Emotional vulnerability. You name it.

I tend to forget the definition of sufficiency. I have ALL that I need in Christ. Not some of what I need plus a desired job/income/husband/address/{insert idol here}. If Christ is sufficient for me then my identity is “HIS”. Not Daycare Worker or That Single Broke Girl who Lives at Home. Or whatever I may want it to be. Artist. Wife. Mother. Home Owner. Author. Teacher. Missionary. Entrepreneur.

Quite simply: I am His. I could be all of those things or none of them, but at the core of it all (and whether He gives those things to me or not), I am His. I have a great inheritance as a child of God. It would be really swell if I could remember that. When I ignore this truth I stop trusting Him to guide my path. But I’m convinced that in my forgetfulness He is glorified when I am reminded and again my fickle heart is turned from it’s idolatry to embrace the cross.

God has been teaching me some hard truths these past few months and my utter dependance upon him has been revealed to me one challenge at a time. While I can’t (and won’t) share all the dramatic little details- I will happily share how my heart has been shaped (softened) and my character conformed to His will.

A chapter in my life is coming to an end and I’m left with one question:

What will it look like to be faithful in this new season?

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